Why do women feel pain in sex?

The penis is likely to be too large, this is a relatively common myth. As a professional, I can assure you, generally not too big.

From time to time there will be a female friend to ask me, may become her new partner man penis will not be too big. One of the benefits of making friends with a gynecologist is that you can ask anything and get reliable answers.

I remind them that after hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, the vagina has been able to adapt well to stretching. If they are interested, and the gentleman is safe from the point of view of character and medicine, then use a lubricant to enjoy it. If you feel pain, stop right away and call me - not right away, but until the next day.

I often hear people mentioning the size of the penis from people I barely know. Once, I had dinner with people who later became my ex-husband and people I had never seen before. At the right time, a woman turned to me with a mouthful of spaghetti and said, "We can not have sex and his cock is too big."

This is the kind of moment of silence, everything seems to be static because I am almost certain that this man did not go to the porn industry to find a job level. If both of them are willing to believe it is too big, that's fine. But the fact is that their problem may not be the size; more likely because of a medical problem called "sexual intercourse difficulties."

"Do you think he seems to hit a wall?" I asked.

They both looked at me as if I was the psychic wizard. I'm not. Because women feel their vagina is too tight or too small, there is a problem called vaginal spasm in women who have sore tweezers and sexual intercourse. This means that the pelvic floor muscles around the vagina do not tighten properly. Often these muscles relax under sexual stimulation and then contract rhythmically during orgasm. When they are too nervous, they can cause painful intercourse, which is a health problem and can even cause orgasm pain or climax difficulties. Sometimes the pain is worse after the sex.

The woman who meets on the same day is no different than many patients I've seen in 25 years. She talked to much medical staff about her painful sexual intercourse. Not only did she not give any treatment, she had not even diagnosed her. The most advanced modern medicine lost to her is an Internet myth - and not even a vaginal myth, but a penis myth! This made me angry.

Sexual pain is common; almost 75% of women experience it. For many people, this is a transient, sometimes painful condition that can include foreplay, breastfeeding (which can reduce estrogen), infections and other causes.

About 7% to 22% of women experience more lasting pain, and 45% of menopausal women and 60% of cancer survivors claim they have sexual intercourse. Pain and migraine are as common as back pain, but the pain is grossly neglected and few people discuss it. In the index of the scientific literature search engine PubMed, there are only 3 694 articles about sexual intercourse, and 19796 articles on male erectile dysfunction.

Muscle spasm (this is my judgment given on that dinner) is one of the most common diagnostic findings, and other common causes include neuralgia, skin problems, low levels of estrogen and endometriosis. Psychological factors also have an impact, but that does not mean that this is a problem in your mind. This is never the case.

If you feel pain in sex, many women will have the expected pain, which will increase the reaction to pain, and reduce lubrication and sexual desire. If I give you the best chocolate in the world, but smash you with a hammer every time you eat the first leg, you will soon get accustomed to fear and fear of chocolate. You may also be conditioned reflexively when scenting chocolate, or even scared when I walk into the room, and you will completely lose the appetite for eating chocolate. For some women, sexual trauma may also be one of the factors, and trigger a painful cycle. 

Acquiring facts to overcome medical fallacies was inherently difficult, but there are many more dimensions of sexual problems. Most people do not have enough sex education and many do not understand how to talk about sex. When I asked a lady if I had ever discussed my pain or sexual needs with a partner, I often heard each other answer, "I can not do that." Many doctors are not willing to discuss sexual issues and this will only complicate the issue.

There are other solutions:

Solve the problem of sex itself. The treatment of painful sexual intercourse needs to address physical problems, ensure that appropriate skills are used, emotional responses are discussed, and, of course, the relationship between the two parties is also examined. If you are unhappy, you may not be able to get the kind of sexual stimulation you need or will not produce enough sexual response. You can not change any medical treatment You do not like your sexual partners.

Lubricants can help many women to ease painful intercourse, it does not mean that you have any problems. Another myth that I often break is that women must be able to moisten their vagina through some sort of sexual fantasy. Many women told me that lubricants can help them relieve pain, but their male partners do not like it or accuse them of using lubricants. My friends, this idea is too bad. If you need to wear glasses, no one will look down upon you. Some people always wear glasses; some of us, uh, wear glasses as they get older. As long as you can see clearly, who care about wearing glasses?

Foreplay is part of the sexual response cycle, but everyone's needs or desires for the foreplay vary greatly. At that dinner, the man quickly pointed out that their foreplay was "long enough." I stared at my plate to avoid exposing my profession. This is why I always ask women to consult without a partner. While the foreplay itself seldom heal painful intercourse, most foreigners actually want more foreplay than they get, so doubling the time of foreplay is important for sexual health and, most importantly, And yes, it's fun.

Find a good doctor. Many women who find the right doctor can cure their sexual intercourse. In addition to physicians and physical therapists, sex therapists and counselors may also be helpful. For some women, treatment can be challenging because they may not find the right therapist and the symptoms of the few are difficult to treat. Some treatments are costly and others do not conform to patient self-awareness. Some women have suffered traumatic injuries but have never mentioned them before, or the trauma is too painful and unspeakable, but treatment can be helpful.

Treatment of painful pain is worth it. It is the only type of patient I treated for giggling at referral. "I used to know that I felt so good!" - I often hear this reaction. Even if the pain cannot be completely relieved, the diagnosis can have incredible effects. Many women told me that being taken seriously would be helpful.

Female painful sexual intercourse is not hopeless. It is not uncommon for her to have just encountered a medical problem.